The Nicest Thing Ever Said.

I started this post, and then I deleted it. And then I realized that writing this is going to make me cry.

If there are 2 people who mean the most to me in this world it is my Pops and Grammy. We celebrated Grammy's 90th birthday last September and Pops just turn 87 a month ago. I have few memories of him when I was young where he wasn't giving me horseyback rides. He assembled all of my dollhouse furniture. He taught me how to pick raspberries. He played Twister with my cousins and I and he won. We were best buddies, he would say that too. On my wedding day he said to me with tears in his own eyes "Ca, this is the best day of my life."

I cried then too...

After that picture was taken I walked away. And since then I have never thanked him for the single most wonderful thing anyone has ever said to me. Of course my wedding day was the best day of my life, but for him to love me enough the to say the same thing is indescribable, something that I will never forget as long as I live. I'm afraid to thank him, that was a year and a half ago and I wonder if he even remembers it. I'm more afraid to not thank him, he can't leave here without knowing how much he really means to me.

The First Memory.

I have this memory from when I was two years and two months old. I was in the hospital visiting my baby brother for the very first time. My Pops and Grammy brought me and they had let me get a balloon from the hospital gift shop for Mikey. I chose purple and it had letters on it I think, but I don't remember what it said. My Mom was lying in the hospital bed with my brother and Pops and Grammy were standing by the door. Grammy was wearing a black skirt, but that doesn't say much because that is what she wears in all my memories of her. Dad was holding me and I was holding the balloon. The thing is that I let the balloon go out the window but I didn't cry. It must have been too happy of a day for crying.

That memory is so vivid in my mind that I call it my first memory, but the thing is I don't even know if I remember it. So many people have told me that story that I think I remember it, but when I really really think about it I don't really know. The truth is that I have another memory, which is really my first memory but it is so vague that I have discounted it. Right before Mikey was born, Dad took me on a bike ride to Island Beach. 21 years later I took my wedding pictures there. It is one of those places where I remember growing up and I am sure that it will make other appearances in future blog posts. Anyway, all I remember is sitting in a bike sit on the back with a helmet on. I remember Mom standing next to me before we left, she was very pregnant and I was wearing sandals. When we got to the beach Dad parked his bike by the water fountain. I don't know if that is still there though. And that is all.

As much as I want to believe in the memory purple balloon and my baby brother I don't know if I can. I wonder what other things I know to be true simply because other people have told me so. I hope I don't discount the things that I know simply because it doesn't seem worth believing in or because the memory seems too far away.